If you are booking a hearing assessment for yourself, or for someone you love, here is one of the simplest things you can do to get more out of it: come together. At AIM Hearing we warmly encourage every new client to bring a partner, family member or close friend to their first appointment. Here is why it makes such a difference.

Family often notice hearing loss first

Most hearing loss creeps up slowly, over years. Because the change is so gradual, the person with the hearing loss is often the last to notice it. The brain quietly fills in the gaps, and life adjusts around them: the TV gets a little louder, restaurants get avoided, and “what?” becomes part of every conversation.

The people around them notice long before they do. Partners notice the repeated questions. Grandkids notice Pop answering a question nobody asked. Family notice the TV volume. In fact, many people only book a hearing test because a loved one encouraged them to. (If this sounds familiar, you might also like our article Why can he or she not hear you from the other room?)

“There’s nothing wrong with my hearing”: why most of us explain it away

Here is something we see every week: most people with hearing loss do not believe they have it, at least not at first. That is not stubbornness. It is completely human. Because hearing loss creeps in so slowly, the brain quietly works harder to fill the gaps, and it is far easier to blame something else than to accept that our hearing has changed.

Sound familiar? These are some of the most common explanations we hear, from clients and from their families:

“Everyone mumbles these days.” Usually it is the soft, high-pitched consonants that are being missed, not the speaker mumbling.
“The TV shows are badly mixed. The actors whisper and the music is too loud.” Some shows genuinely are hard to follow, but if the rest of the house is happy with the volume and you are not, that is worth checking.
“Nobody can hear in that club.” Busy places are hard for everyone, but they are much harder with hearing loss, and people often start avoiding them without realising why.
“You were talking to me from the other room.” Sometimes true, but if it keeps happening, it is a common early sign. Read our article on the subject.
“The grandkids talk too fast.” Children’s voices are higher pitched and softer, which is exactly the range affected first by age-related hearing loss.
“I wasn’t paying attention.” Often the real reason is that following the conversation has quietly become hard work.
“It’s just a bit of wax.” It might be, and that is worth checking too. A hearing assessment starts with a look in your ears, so we will tell you either way.
“It’s a bad phone line.” Phone calls remove the lip-reading and facial cues we all rely on without knowing it, so they are often one of the first things to become difficult.
“I’ve just got selective hearing.” Usually said with a laugh, and usually said about the person who has noticed the problem most.

Some of these explanations really are true some of the time. That is exactly the point of a proper assessment: it separates what is going on around you from what is going on with your hearing, with facts rather than opinions.

This pattern of explaining things away is one of the reasons people wait so long to get help. One long-running study of older adults found that people waited an average of 8.9 years between their hearing test results showing they could benefit from hearing aids and actually getting them (Simpson and colleagues, Ear and Hearing, 2019). That is nearly a decade of missed conversations for the whole family.

A loved one is often the person who has noticed the pattern, not just one bad day. Having them in the room means the discussion is based on what has actually been happening, and the test results then show everyone, calmly and objectively, what is really going on. No one has to win an argument.

Why “I can hear, I just can’t understand” is so common

The most common type of hearing loss in adults is sensorineural hearing loss, caused by changes in the inner ear. It includes age-related hearing loss and noise-induced hearing loss, which is common in a region like ours, with farm machinery, trades, the mill, shooting and loud music.

This type of hearing loss usually affects the higher pitches first. That matters because the high-pitched sounds of speech are the consonants, like s, f, th, sh and t, and consonants carry most of the meaning in words. The lower-pitched vowel sounds carry most of the loudness.

So the person can still hear that someone is talking, and it seems loud enough. But words such as “fifty” and “sixty”, or “shoe” and “chew”, start to blur together, especially in background noise. That is why so many people honestly say, “I can hear fine, people just mumble.” From their side, that is exactly what it sounds like. From the family’s side, it looks like they are not listening. Both are telling the truth, and that is precisely why it helps to have everyone in the room.

Seeing it happen in real time

This is where bringing a loved one really pays off. During a full hearing assessment, we do not just test beeps. We also test how well you understand speech.

Speech testing in quiet shows how clearly words are understood, not just whether they are heard.
Speech-in-noise testing shows how well speech is understood with background noise, like a busy club, a café or a family barbecue. This is usually where people with sensorineural hearing loss struggle most.

When a loved one is there, they can see the results come up as the test happens, and see exactly which kinds of words are being missed. It often becomes a light-bulb moment for everyone: “So that is why you never catch what the grandkids say at dinner.” The results confirm, in black and white, where the difficulty actually is.

Without a loved one there, the client has to go home and pass all of this on themselves, and it is completely natural for any of us to soften or reframe news we would rather not hear. Having everyone hear the same explanation, from the same clinician, at the same time, means nothing gets lost in translation.

It is not an ambush, it is teamwork

We want to be really clear about this. Bringing a family member is not about ganging up on anyone, and it is not about proving someone right or wrong. Hearing loss affects the whole family, and everyone deserves to understand it.

Our approach is simple: the person being tested is always at the centre of the appointment, and it is their hearing and their decision. The loved one is there to share what they have noticed, to help remember what was discussed, and to learn how they can help. We also know not everyone is comfortable having family present, and research shows patients have mixed feelings about it (a 2019 survey of 382 adult audiology patients, American Journal of Audiology). If you would rather come on your own, that is absolutely fine.

What the research says

This is not just our opinion. Family involvement in hearing care has been studied for years, including right here in Queensland.

Researchers at the University of Queensland video-recorded real audiology appointments and found family members had a strong interest in being involved and sharing their experiences, but were often not invited into the conversation. They recommended a more family-centred approach (Ekberg and colleagues, International Journal of Audiology, 2015).
A large study of more than 60,000 adults found people who attended their hearing appointments with a significant other went ahead with hearing aids more often (63.8%) than those who attended alone (50.6%). The difference was largest for people with mild hearing loss (Singh and Launer, Trends in Hearing, 2016).
A follow-up study found the association was strongest when the person attending was close family, such as a partner, child, parent or sibling (Ellis, Singh and Launer, Trends in Hearing, 2022).

These studies show an association, not proof of cause and effect, and going ahead with hearing aids is not the goal in itself. The goal is that you and your family leave the appointment understanding what is happening and what your options are. Leading hearing clinics overseas recommend the same thing. Dr Cliff Olson’s clinic in Arizona, for example, highly recommends bringing a significant other, family member or friend to provide an extra perspective on your hearing difficulties.

How to get the most from bringing someone

Choose someone you talk with often, such as your partner, an adult child or a close friend. The person whose voice you struggle with most is often the most helpful.
Talk beforehand about the situations you find hardest, so nothing is forgotten on the day.
Let them share what they have noticed, and listen to their side. It is not criticism, it is information.
Bring your questions, and let your loved one ask theirs too.
Stay for the results. This is where the real conversation happens.

Your first hearing assessment at AIM Hearing

Our full hearing assessment takes around an hour, so there is time to understand your hearing, answer everyone’s questions and explain your results in plain English. You will see Alan at every appointment, and loved ones are always welcome. If you go on to have hearing aids fitted, we encourage your loved one to come to the fitting too, because a familiar voice helps us fine-tune your hearing aids for the people who matter most. Learn more about AIM Signature Care or our hearing tests in Bundaberg.

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This article is general information only and is not a substitute for a personal hearing assessment. If you notice sudden hearing loss, particularly in one ear, see your GP or go to hospital urgently.